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Maddy Douglass

Knitter and lawyer in San Francisco. 

Loves coffee, crafting, culture, and cheese plates.

"Say what you mean, mean what you say." 

 

"This is where you are."

Today's post is inspired by this post from breanna rose. Her post discusses being more present in the here and now, and enjoying the little everyday moments because nothing in the future is guaranteed. Because I feel like I generally appreciate the "now" maybe too often (I have a hard time with long-term planning sometimes, and tend to not worry too much about things until they are directly upon me - hello law school applications!), I'm going to take a different interpretation of this phrase.

To me, "this is where you are" means that no matter how much you might wish something were different, or that your life had ended up differently, you only can be where you actually are. You can work to get yourself to a different place, or you can take steps to change where you are, but until you do,  you will still be in that place. "If wishes were fishes," my friends - but they are not, and unless you do all you can to get yourself to a different place (including, sometimes, distracting yourself while time works its magic), you have to recognize a situation for the reality of it. It's a slightly more optimistic version of "it is what it is."

teabag

{ "let your heart guide you," via }

I think this phrase particularly resonates with me right now because for the past week or so I've been going through some residual emotions from a breakup. When you're not sure when you will be fully healed, and you feel like it would just be easier, and simpler, and happier to go backwards, it helps to realize that you can only be where you can be! I can't go backwards, I can only go forwards. But the phrase "this is where you are" reminds me that it also takes time. Things do not get fixed overnight, especially broken hearts, and it takes time (what a true cliché!) to get to that future place that I can visualize down the road.

mug

{ "whatever you are doing is the most beautiful thing," via }

When people talk about "appreciating the moment," usually images of vast open oceans, and perfect cups of coffee, and the squeal of a puppy come to mind. Appreciating the moment is usually a term reserved for those times in life that are pleasurable in their simplicity but which may often be overlooked.

This year, I want to turn that on its head. I want to appreciate all moments, good and bad. I want to learn to have a respect for, and potentially an appreciation of (ok there's no better word than "appreciation" here so I'm just going to keep using it), even those heartbreaking moments when a song or a photograph or a t-shirt reminds you of some distant time. Those moments have value simply because they come from living.

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{ "may you have faith in your worth and act with wisdom," via }

These moments are a reality and a result of putting oneself out into the world. When you venture out and interact with others, you open yourself up to hurt - but also love, joy, goodness, irreplaceable memories. I want to appreciate the hurt moments for what they are: reminders that I am alive, that I am trying, that I am still growing and navigating these twenty-something waters. I won't regret even a second of sadness that reminds me of these things.

So, Bloggees, this is where I am. It is not the easiest place, and it is hopefully not the peak of my success or joy in life, but it is where I am. I am alive, and my experiences are from living my life as fully as I can, and I will strive to be thankful for any reminder of that that I can take. "This is where you are," until you eventually are somewhere else. Someday.

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"This year, I resolve to..." (Happy New Year!)

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