I'm still really learning with this blogging thing. And this photography thing. And this Etsy shop thing. It's all pretty new, and I'll be "learning" at it for a long time, I think. Because there is always more TO learn - someone else will have discovered a new trick, or a new insight, or a new method! And that's fantastic, that these creative fields continue to evolve and grow and change based on the community members within them, that the people enjoying this community also give back to it with their experiences and their different ideas. But sometimes, it does feel a bit overwhelming. Someone else will always have a prettier blog layout, or a better photograph, or a lower priced product. Someone else may have already thought of your brilliant idea. Someone else may have written your screenplay or started your company. So what is there to do? Do you just not try, not put your spin on that idea? Not write something better? The optimist in me says, no, you don't give up. You persist. You push on. You come up with a new idea, you force yourself to be more creative. But, it does get tiring. There is always more to learn, more ways to better yourself. You're not just competing against these other bloggers or crafters, you're competing against yesterday's version of yourself to come up with a better design, a more popular blog post.
I don't mean that to sound depressing - that's certainly not my intent - it's just the reality. Sometimes we're just creative little hamsters running in our little wheels trying to keep up with the rest of the world, with the rest of this great community we have. There are good things and bad things to this ever changing world in which we live today. That's all I mean. Sometimes though, it really is just enough to be yourself. Even a static version of yourself, just for a day or a week or a month to catch your breathe. Sometimes it's enough to make coffee, and sit by your window, and look out into the street and watch the passers-by on a weekend morning. Sometimes it's enough to buy yourself some beautiful flowers and enjoy watching them bloom. This creative world doesn't have to be a rat race to learn all you can and be all you can; you can push yourself forward, and stand still at the same time. Sometimes it's good enough to just be. Sometimes that is the expression you're seeking. And that switch, those two sides of the coin, are what I love about this creative life. And it's why, exhausting though these past months have been, I still try. To learn, to push forward, to see how far I can take it all.