5 things to do when you move in with yourself
So first, let me preface this by saying the best defense to any concerns about living alone is not being naive on social media. Don’t put your address out there, don’t advertise when you’re going out of town until it’s over, and don’t broadcast your current location for would-be stalkers to come find you at the Shake Shack Tuscaloosa opening or whatever.
That said, we live in a connected world where it’s easier to find someone’s information online than in real life. We readily provide delivery information to Amazon drivers and Uber Eats, but we won’t give someone our last name on a dating site without vetting them for at least three days of conversation. And yet somehow, the idea of living alone is only slightly less scary now at 33 than it was when I left the nest for college. What can I say? I’m a worrywart. Having a dog helps.
Until I seek professional advice regarding my over-anxious tendencies, I have figured out a few things that make settling into a new space by myself a bit more comforting and relaxing. I thought they might be of use to someone else breaking out on their own for the first time in a few apartments:
Make yourself something luxurious.
The easiest way for me to feel at home somewhere is to settle into the kitchen. If I know where the forks and spatulas are, I feel a lot more in control of my environment (I’m sure there’s a therapy joke in there somewhere) and therefore safer. My first weekend in the new apartment, the first things I unpacked were utensils, pans, and tools to make my regular Sunday routine: soft scrambled eggs with toast. This also necessitated traveling around to the local grocery store (note: Sprouts is great but everything is like $8 minimum) to pick up some must-haves — butter, bread, coconut aminos, dijon, NOT for the eggs, fyi — and set up my refrigerator again.
2. Unpack something you don’t need right away.
One of the second-first things I did was unpack my wine glasses. A lot of them haven’t been used in months, since I have slowed down my party-throwing, and needed to be dusted off or even washed from being near the stove in the old apartment. Side note, who knew that grease could like, float in the air up to a shelf above your head?!
In this space, having ALL of my wine glasses sparkling clean and ready for hosting makes me feel like this is truly my new space. I also drink more wine in pretty glasses these days, and who can hate on feeling so elegant?
3. Stock your fridge with things YOU like.
One of the best parts of living alone is having total control over your space - the decor, the laundry, the dishes, the pantry. I have diversified a bit in the last few weeks since I have found myself cooking more varied meals (a.k.a. I had to actually buy more condiments) but for the first three weeks of living in my new apartment, I had an entire refrigerator shelf with sparkling wine and sparkling water. This is like, every 30-something’s dream refrigerator shelf. Plus, it looked so damn instagrammable!
It may seem a little silly, but having an entire shelf full of completely frivolous beverages made me feel so joyous every time I opened that new fridge door, and reminded me of some of the perks of being the master of your own domain.
4. Get back into your HOBBIES.
Know what you have a lot of time for, living by yourself? RANDOM STUFF. I love it. Start doing weekly puzzles. Set up your own wine tastings. READ A BOOK. Or, if you’re me, agree to do a year-long crochet project parallel with one of your friends matching the temperature of each day with a color. It’s a somewhat mindless project to be done while catching up on Vanderpump Rules or Madame Secretary, and will also produce something tangible and useful at the end of 365 days. It’s going to be one biiiiiiiig blanket.
Listen to your favorite podcast in the shower, pump up the reality TV while you’re cooking, make the same dish for 7 meals in a row and stock your fridge with multicolored tupperware. Do YOU, whatever that is, with no one else watching/judging/interrupting/commenting.
5. Last but not least - make yourself feel safe, even if you feel silly.
I have lived here for six weeks, and last night was the first time I went to bed without locking my door. My BEDROOM door. I have been closing and locking the door for 42 nights, and after about the first night I felt kind of childish, I’ll admit. But you know what? I felt 100% safe after doing that. I didn’t worry about a thing and I slept like a… well like a 33 year old lawyer going through an emotional time, but you know. I wasn’t worried about robbers or anything.
Another thing that makes me feel safe? MA DOG. That wasn’t the purpose of getting her, lord knows, but the fact that she barks at 6:15am when the teenagers down the hall leave for school means I feel fairly secure she would alert me to any intruders, whether of a human or rodent variety.
Living by yourself can be nerve-wracking for many reasons nowadays. No sense in beating yourself up about any and everything you can do to comfort yourself a little bit.
There are probably 700 other steps to be taken when living alone (internet, anyone? learning how to use the new laundry machine?) but those are all logistical. The emotional aspect of taking on a new space is a process. Be prepared to sit in the quiet (or, don’t, if you have Netflix), really take in your space, feel out whether there are any ghosts or spider hiding spots, and get comfy. It’s just you and the house now. Oh, and that plant in the corner.
